The Egalitarian Aramaic ketubah text creates an egalitarian marriage that can also be considered traditional and halachic. It is a completely bilateral contract. This text is based upon several formulations found in Palestinian ketubot and researched and described by Moredechai Friedman in Jewish Marriage in Palestine (JTS,1980). It begins with the formulation, "I wish to be married to you." The verb here is passive, unlike the verb in "become my wife". As Friedman says: "[This] usage in which the groom declares (his desire) to "be married" to the bride, rather than to "marry" her, is curious, since the husband's active role in contracting the marriage is taken for granted in our sources and is normally understood as being reflected in the marriage formula as well. One is tempted to see in this usage an expression of the equality of the partners in marriage." Cohen adds, "especially if one (or two) double the formula", as this text does. The next formulation is "so that you should be my companion and woman/ man of covenant". This is paraphrased from Malachi 2:14 and recalls the covenantal relationship between God and Israel. Then, the bride and groom agree "to enter into a partnership" with each other. Partnership, or shutafut, describes a relationship between equal partners who can each withdraw from the partnership at will (Friedman). Cohen adds one new element to his text in the statement that all the property, "that either of them brings with them, shall be in possession of both." This reflects the very notion of an egalitarian relationship. Cohen describes this statement: "some halacha becomes accepted because it makes sense." In other words, as a rabbinical and talmudic scholar, he is joining the ever-evolving process of creating halacha.

The Egalitarian Aramaic ketubah requires a truly egalitarian divorce. The party initiating the divorce must pay the other half their property, a statement which reminds the marrying couple that marriage and divorce entail financial consequences. This provision is based upon a number of different mutual divorce stipulations in medieval Palestinian ketubot found in a Geniza in Cairo. Both bride and groom can send a Get. Cohen includes an antenuptial agreement based upon one written by the Rabbinical Assembly in 1968. It states that if no Get is sent within six months of their marriage being sundered by the courts of the State, or within six months of one of them leaving their home with the intent of sundering their marriage, then this betrothal and marriage will be null and void from the start. Cohen makes this antenuptial agreement mutual, whereas the original RA agreement was written from the groom to the bride.

We witness that on the          day of the week, the          day of the month of          , in the year          , corresponding to the          day of          ,          , here in          , the groom/bride,          , son/daughter of          , said to the bride/groom,         , daughter/son of          : I wish to be married to you according to the laws/religion of Moses and Israel, so that you should be my friend and woman/man of covenant and I will work and support and honor you as is the way of Jewish women/men, and I will give you your food, clothing and desires/wants/needs and have conjugal relations with you. And      agreed to enter into a partnership with her/him. And that      said to      , I wish to be married to you according to the laws/religion of Moses and Israel, so that you should be my friend and woman/man of covenant and I will work and support and honor you as is the way of Jewish women/men, and I will give you your food, clothing and desires/wants/needs and have conjugal relations with you. And     agreed to enter into a partnership with her/him. And      and      fixed between them the conditions of this ketubah, that all silver, gold, jewelry, and articles of clothing, furniture and bedding, moveable and real estate that either of them brings with them, shall be in possession of both. And if      would no longer desire this woman/man      and wish to separate from her/him, she/he will pay her/him half of all their property. And if     would no longer desire this woman/man      and wish to separate from her/him, she/he will pay her/him half of all their property. And if their marriage is sundered by the courts of the State, or if one of them leaves their home with the intent of sundering their marriage, and if after six months      sends to     , or      sends to       a get according to the laws of Moses and Israel, then this betrothal and marriage shall be right and good. But if after six months,      hasn't sent     , nor has     sent     a get according to the laws of Moses and Israel, then this betrothal and marriage will be null and void from the start. And      and      accepted upon themselves legal responsibility for this ketubah as weighty as all ketubah contracts which are made according to the ordinances of our Sages of blessed memory.

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The B'rit Ahuvim/Ahuvot ~ Lovers' Covenant text creates an egalitarian partnership for the marrying couple which is formed by mutual agreement. Adler includes grammatical provisions to allow her text to be easily used for same-gender marriages. Partnership law is the basis for this text and the marriage it creates. The marriage created is not a halachic Jewish marriage but rather a halchic Jewish partnership. Adler describes the rituals that should establish this marriage (see pp. 195-8). The most innovative ritual is an ancient version of kinyan. In this, the partners acquire the partnership by placing symbols of pooled resources (often including wedding rings) into a bag, lifting it together, and reciting a blessing. This form of kinyan was used in ancient times exclusively for creating partnerships under Jewish law. While Adler encourages couples to write their own, several intentions for the marriage are included in the text. The partners agree to pool their resources and to make joint decisions about their distribution; to base their marriage upon monogamy, tikkun olam and other Jewish communal responsibilities; to care and provide for each other and for any children; and to help each other at the time of dying. The B'rit Ahuvim connects the marrying couple to God, Israel and Jewish history by quoting several definitions and instances of covenant found throughout theTanakh.

The B'rit Ahuvim/Ahuvot ~ Lovers' Covenant can be dissolved as a partnership would be dissolved. Either partner may initiate a divorce. The divorce should be conducted by a Beit Din (a court of three learned Jews). At the dissolution proceeding, the court should draw up a document in Hebrew (and translate it into the vernacular) that attests to the termination of the covenant, the distribution of property, and any continuing obligations. This document should be signed by two witnesses. Adler suggests that the divorce be held in public rather than in a Rabbi's study with only the court and witnesses present. Religious community, friends and family should be present to comfort and console the two partners and to acknowledge that a covenant has failed.

This agreement into which                and                are entering is a holy convenant like the ancient covenants of our people, made in faithfulness and peace to stand forever. It is a covenant of protection and hope like the covenant God swore to Noah and his descendants, saying,

When the bow is in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures, all flesh that is on earth. That," God said to Noah, "shall be the sign of the covenant that I have established between me and all flesh.

It is a covenant of distinction, like the covenant God made with Israel, saying You shall be my people, and I shall be your God.

It is a covenant of devotion, joining hearts like the covenant David and Jonathan made, as it is said:

And Jonathan's soul was bound up with the soul of David. Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself.

It is a covenant of mutual lovingkindness like the wedding covenant between God and Zion, as it is said,

I will espouse you forever. I will espouse you with righteousness and justice and lovingkindness and compassion. I will espouse you in faithfulness and you shall know God .

The following are the provisions of the lovers' covenant into which bride/groom/spouse and bride/groom/spouse now enter:

               and                declare that they have chosen each other as companions, as our rabbis teach:

Get yourself a companion. This teaches that a person should get a companion, to eat with, drink with, to study... with, to sleep with, to confide all one's secrets, secrets of Torah and secrets of worldly things.

               and                declare that they are setting themselves apart for each other and will take no other lover.                and                hereby assume all the rights and obligations that apply to family members: to attend, care, and provide for one another

1. and for any children with which they may be blessed. (optional)
2. and for             , child/children of          . (optional)

               and                commit themselves to a life of kindness and righteousness as a Jewish family and to work together toward the communal task of mending the world.                and                pledge that one will help the other at the time of dying, by carrying out the last rational requests of the dying partner, protecting each other from indignity or abandonment and by tender, faithful presence with the beloved until the end, fulfilling what has been written:

"Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm, for love is stronger than death."

To this covenant we affix our signatures:

Note: This text was used with the Lovers' Knot ketubah for Leora and Meredith. (Gallery III)

1) We used the word equitable rather than equal, because people never have equal roles in a home, nor should they. Equal implies sameness and could foster a kind of measure for measure type of comparison. Equitable roles are not directly comparable, but they add up to a sense that each person is a fair participant in the partnership.

2) For patience and understanding, we said that we would exercise and seek ­ we may not always succeed, but we will always try. As for being kind and loving ­ it is not the effort that matters, but the consistent success. With patience and understanding, our efforts do count. With being loving and kind, our actions and behaviors do.

3) The phrase "helpers that are equal to each other" is based on the phrase "ezer cenegdo" from Genesis 2:19, the "helpmeet" which God intended Eve to be to Adam.

         , son/daughter of          , says to         , daughter/son of          , "With this ring you are consecrated unto me as my partner according to the tradition of the Jewish community. I shall treasure you, nourish you, support you, and respect you as Jewish men/women/spouses and men/women/spouses have devoted themselves to their lovers with integrity."          , son/daughter of          , says to         , daughter/son of         , "With this ring you are consecrated unto me as my partner according to the tradition of the Jewish community. I shall treasure you, nourish you, support you, and respect you as Jewish men/women/spouses and men/women/spouses have devoted themselves to their lovers with integrity." We promise to try to be ever open to one another while cherishing each other's uniqueness; to comfort and challenge each other through life's sorrow and joy; to share our intuition and insight with one another; and above all, to do everything within our power to permit each of us to become the persons we are yet to be. We also pledge to establish a home open to the spiritual potential in all life; a home wherein the flow of the seasons and the passages of life are celebrated through the symbols of Jewish heritage; a home filled with reverence for learning, loving, and generosity; a home wherein ancient melody, candles, and wine sanctify the table; a home joined ever more closely to the community of Israel. This marriage has been authorized also by the civil authorities of New York. It is valid and binding.