The bride,         , daughter of         , says to the groom: With this ring you are consecrated unto me as my husband, according to the tradition of Moses and the Jewish people. I shall treasure you, nourish you, support you and respect you as Jewish women have devoted themselves to their husbands, with integrity.

The groom,         , son of         , says to the bride: With this ring you are consecrated unto me as my wife, according to the tradition of Moses and the Jewish people. I shall treasure you, nourish you, support you and respect you as Jewish men have devoted themselves to their wives, with integrity.

We promise to try to be ever open to one another while cherishing each other's uniqueness; to comfort and challenge each other through life's sorrow and joy; to share our intuition and insight with one another; and above all, to do everything within our power to permit each of us to become the persons we are yet to be.

We also pledge to establish a home open to the spiritual potential in all life; a home wherein the flow of the seasons and the passages of life are celebrated through the symbols of Jewish heritage; a home filled with reverence for learning, loving, and generosity; a home wherein ancient melody, candles, and wine sanctify the table; a home joined ever more closely to the community of Israel. This marriage has been authorized also by the civil authorities of      . It is valid and binding.

We pledge to be equal partners, loving friends, and supportive companions all through our life. May our love provide us with the freedom to be ourselves, and the courage to follow our mutual and individual paths. As we share life's experiences, we vow to create an intimacy that will enable us to express our innermost thoughts and feelings; to be sensitive to each other's needs; to share life's joys; to comfort each other through life's sorrows; to challenge each other to achieve intellectual and physical fulfillment as well as spiritual and emotional tranquility. We will build a home together and fill it with laughter, empathy, faith, imagination, trust, friendship, companionship and love. A home in which holidays and heritage are celebrated in accordance with our Jewish culture and tradition. May we live each day as the first, the last, the only day we will have with each other. We joyfully enter into this covenant and solemnly accept the obligations herein.

The B'rit Ahuvim or Lovers' Covenant text creates an egalitarian partnership for the marrying couple which is formed by mutual agreement. Adler includes grammatical provisions to allow her text to be easily used for same-gender marriages. Partnership law is the basis for this text and the marriage it creates. The marriage created is not a halachic Jewish marriage but rather a halchic Jewish partnership. Adler describes the rituals that should establish this marriage (see pp. 195-8). The most innovative ritual is an ancient version of kinyan. In this, the partners acquire the partnership by placing symbols of pooled resources (often including wedding rings) into a bag, lifting it together, and reciting a blessing. This form of kinyan was used in ancient times exclusively for creating partnerships under Jewish law. While Adler encourages couples to write their own, several intentions for the marriage are included in the text. The partners agree to pool their resources and to make joint decisions about their distribution; to base their marriage upon monogamy, tikkun olam and other Jewish communal responsibilities; to care and provide for each other and for any children; and to help each other at the time of dying. The B'rit Ahuvim connects the marrying couple to God, Israel and Jewish history by quoting several definitions and instances of covenant found throughout theTanakh.

The B'rit Ahuvim or Lovers' Covenant can be dissolved as a partnership would be dissolved. Either partner may initiate a divorce. The divorce should be conducted by a Beit Din (a court of three learned Jews). At the dissolution proceeding, the court should draw up a document in Hebrew (and translate it into the vernacular) that attests to the termination of the covenant, the distribution of property, and any continuing obligations. This document should be signed by two witnesses. Adler suggests that the divorce be held in public rather than in a Rabbi's study with only the court and witnesses present. Religious community, friends and family should be present to comfort and console the two partners and to acknowledge that a covenant has failed.

This agreement into which bride and groom are entering is a holy convenant like the ancient covenants of our people, made in faithfulness and peace to stand forever. It is a covenant of protection and hope like the covenant God swore to Noah and his descendants, saying,

When the bow is in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures, all flesh that is on earth. That," God said to Noah, "shall be the sign of the covenant that I have established between me and all flesh.

It is a covenant of distinction, like the covenant God made with Israel, saying You shall be my people, and I shall be your God.

It is a covenant of devotion, joining hearts like the covenant David and Jonathan made, as it is said:

And Jonathan's soul was bound up with the soul of David. Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself.

It is a covenant of mutual lovingkindness like the wedding covenant between God and Zion, as it is said,

I will espouse you forever. I will espouse you with righteousness and justice and lovingkindness and compassion. I will espouse you in faithfulness and you shall know God .

The following are the provisions of the lovers' covenant into which bride and groom now enter:

bride and groom declare that they have chosen each other as companions, as our rabbis teach:

Get yourself a companion. This teaches that a person should get a companion, to eat with, drink with, to study... with, to sleep with, to confide all one's secrets, secrets of Torah and secrets of worldly things.

bride and groom declare that they are setting themselves apart for each other and will take no other lover. bride and groom hereby assume all the rights and obligations that apply to family members: to attend, care, and provide for one another

1. and for any children with which they may be blessed. (optional)
2. and for             , child/children of          . (optional)

bride and groom commit themselves to a life of kindness and righteousness as a Jewish family and to work together toward the communal task of mending the world. bride and groom pledge that one will help the other at the time of dying, by carrying out the last rational requests of the dying partner, protecting each other from indignity or abandonment and by tender, faithful presence with the beloved until the end, fulfilling what has been written:

"Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm, for love is stronger than death."

To this covenant we affix our signatures:

The bride and groom did say, one to the other:

"I take you this day as my husband, "I take you this day as my wife,

as is understood in the custom of Israel, and do promise to equitably provide for the well-being of our home, and for the care, raising, and teaching of our children. I promise to exercise patience, to seek to understand you, to be kind, and to be loving. I agree that we enter into this marriage as helpers that are equal to each other, and that we shall always work to sustain the sanctity of our covenant. I promise to establish with you a house of Israel that is based on the teachings and principles of Torah, and on the oneness and centrality of God. I promise to remain faithful to this covenant, in body and in spirit, through passion and mundanity, through abundance and scarcity, through health and illness, and through joy and sorrow."

And they did both accept this covenant, each from the other.

Note: This text was used with the Lovers' Knot ketubah for Leora and Meredith. (Gallery III)

1) We used the word equitable rather than equal, because people never have equal roles in a home, nor should they. Equal implies sameness and could foster a kind of measure for measure type of comparison. Equitable roles are not directly comparable, but they add up to a sense that each person is a fair participant in the partnership.

2) For patience and understanding, we said that we would exercise and seek ­ we may not always succeed, but we will always try. As for being kind and loving ­ it is not the effort that matters, but the consistent success. With patience and understanding, our efforts do count. With being loving and kind, our actions and behaviors do.

3) The phrase "helpers that are equal to each other" is based on the phrase "ezer cenegdo" from Genesis 2:19, the "helpmeet" which God intended Eve to be to Adam.